How my daughter came on top in ‘Year 12’: Indian Australian Mom’s open letter to Parents

I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to my daughter publicly for the parenting mistake I did in the past.

By Manisha Digar

I am the proud parent of the average child, HSC results are out for 2022. I would like to congratulate each and every child and his/her parent who completed this important milestone of their academic journey.

I am one of such parents whose daughter has completed HSC this year. Due to privacy reasons, I will not like to share more details about my daughter. All the kids and their parents who achieved over 90% of ATAR are proudly sharing their achievements which they certainly deserve but, in this glory, the lights of our struggling stars who are average learners and achievers are not visible.

- Advertisement -

I am a proud parent of such a daughter with average academic achievement as per societal norms but for me, she is a late bloomer.

The blooming I waited for many years has just started to show this year when she has become more focused on her future path, with the support of excellent teachers she achieved good success in HSC as per expectation and as per requirement for her choice of degree in one of the best universities.

Representative picture of Mother and daughter; Image Source: @CANVA
Representative picture of Mother and daughter; Image Source: @CANVA

I will like to share credit to Mrs Anisha Sharma and her fellow teachers from Asketa Academy in this journey and without their support, this was not possible. Special thanks to Anisha mam who is not only the teacher but purpose coach and mentor and her regular coaching to us as parents and my daughters helped in many ways.

I made several mistakes as a parent of a child whose academic success was less than high achiever kids and like many other parents, made comparisons with other kids, scolded my daughter for her academic achievements and worst thing discussed her issues in front of others whom I considered as friends to seek support but that was the biggest mistake as a parent which I later realised.

Anisha mam always told me she is a late bloomer and I should just have patience and keep nurturing her and leave her and one day she will shoot like Chinese bamboo suddenly.

I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to my daughter publicly for the parenting mistake I did in the past. Sorry dear, I am still learning how to become a good parent.

Representative picture of Mother and daughter; Image Source: @CANVA
Representative picture of Mother and daughter; Image Source: @CANVA

This year may be for some people, and her academic success might be lower, but she is a far bigger winner for me.

- Advertisement -

Firstly, she learned independence and learned to take her own decisions and find a path. With the help of her teachers and mentor, she figured out her interest area and selected subjects accordingly for HSC.

She went through panic attacks and anxiety due to exam stress in year 11, had counselling sessions for the same and then learned to overcome that anxiety issue in year 12 which is a big win for all of us.

She completed her university’s early entry admission programme with minimum or no support from her parents and secured admission to multiple universities.

Immediately after HSC’s last paper, we travelled to India to take care of medical issues with her grandparents and she without any complaint sacrificed one of the most important days of High school life – Yr 12 Prom.

While all my other friends were planning exclusive dresses, makeup and accessories for the event, she stood with us all day in the hospital.

During her entire stay in India just spent days in the hospital and at home and could not even go out for fun for one single evening but no complaints and happily helped and took care of her grandparents.

Representative picture of Mother and daughter; Image Source: @CANVA
Representative picture of Mother and daughter; Image Source: @CANVA

One day during this trip, she went to the market with her grandfather to buy vegetables and groceries for the family and carried all the heavy bags on both shoulders.

When grandfather asked if she would be able to carry bags she said as he is old and walks slowly it will be difficult for him to walk with bags so she will manage and he just needs to walk carefully. She has not allowed me to do more shopping for her except for two dresses and one pair of shoes and asked me to save money as we are going through heavy expenses on many fronts currently.

Developing such an attitude of care, responsibility and understanding is a far bigger achievement than any academic achievement for me and hence she is the winner.

I am still supporting my in-laws for all their medical issues in India alone. She went back to Australia with her father, the child who never stepped inside the kitchen and always gave excuses to run away from helping me is managing cooking and other responsibilities now.

During the India trip, she applied for a job and landed interviews as soon as reaching Sydney and started part-time work all again independently.

The list is big to explain the signs of late blooming.

What I have learnt in my journey of parenting till now is that the best intelligence test in the entire world can fail to determine what a child is capable of doing in the future.

More important than academic success is an overall holistic development of a child as an individual – developing resilience, perseverance, identifying weakness, ability to accept failures and the zeal to overcome challenges as they are the skills of living a better life and becoming a good human being.

All our average shining stars might struggle to achieve academically something, hence already in the process of developing all these important life skills. This is the biggest win for them, which will help them stand out in future. There are many alternate ways to achieve what a child wants to achieve, especially in Australia.

Diploma, degree, pathway courses, change of degree and universities, mature-age entry scheme many options are available to reach the destination.

Yeah – these can be a little longer in some cases, but once you identify your purpose and goals, you can achieve them at any stage.

If your child is a late bloomer, keep patience, try to develop the right attitude, and inculcate the right values in the child and one day he/she will shine.

Celebrate this important milestone completion with pride along with the child.
I am extremely proud of my twinkle twinkle little star. I love you to the moon and back my dear.

HIP HIP HOORAY ! to all our stars.


Manisha Digar